Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
