Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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