neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You are a genius and a whore.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize