No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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