The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
