You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
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Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
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If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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