Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She bit a glass in half.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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