Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
