pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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