What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
