Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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