Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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