Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
