Don't you send me to vm
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
worst night to have a conscience
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
