So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
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