I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
