In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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