He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Boobs are out for the taking
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
