I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It's never too late to be topless.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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