Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
