another moral hangover. fuck.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
