Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
