What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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