I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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