Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
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