I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies