the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.