Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
