i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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