is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize