i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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