look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Text me some of your sweat
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
