I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize