You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Duck Duck Cougar?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
