Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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