Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
