I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
