Pants 0. Shit 1.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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