it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
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He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
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Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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