remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
