Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
