So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
