I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize