He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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