if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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