I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
