2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
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I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
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Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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