Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
