Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I will be naked everywhere
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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