I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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