I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize