Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
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Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
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Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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