wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
