your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
