that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
