Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
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It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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