when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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