We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
