addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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