Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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