lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
