My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
